yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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