Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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