I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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