Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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