I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
FUCK WHALES
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