So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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