nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
