Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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