You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
