i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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