Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Randomize
