you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
