i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
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