I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
