dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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