i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
