He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you inspire me to be a worse person
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
