Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
