Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
