I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
