So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
