escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My pussy is not your playground.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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