check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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