So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Randomize
