ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
