I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
