after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
