GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
