yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
