Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize