party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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