idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
