Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize