oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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