2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
