Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
