gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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