I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
