Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
