at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
