Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
