Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
