O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
