Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
