Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
