Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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