well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
