In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
