Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize