I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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