I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
and you fell through a lawn chair
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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