the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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