I just pynch a tree in the face
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
The uberlube is also flammable
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
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