Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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