I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
