Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
