no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
